In Defense of Children
For as long as I could remember, I have always had this connection with children. I believe they are entrusted to us and so must be treated with care and respect. To not be shushed, stamped on, or smothered lest they become defeated souls. Each child is his own person. Each child is us, only smaller and just because they express themselves in a language unique to their age and ability, it does not mean that what they have to say is less important. I am not standing on a pedestal as I tell you these things. I have had my share of unpleasant exchanges with my son. Things were thrown, sharp words were spoken, and shame from meltdowns was felt. It was when I walked a few steps down a grocery aisle with a small screaming person bent on crawling beside me that I took a massive step back and reexamined my current reality.
After that mutually stressful episode, I decided that existing in constant struggle with someone I profess to love is not how I want to live. There has to be another way to parent aside from the culturally accepted manner of discipline through coercion and threats.
Dili ni pwede magpadayon. (This cannot go on.)
There is always something you can do. I kept telling myself that as I went about searching for ways to create a respectful connection with my son that will encourage him to grow, and be his own person.
In an adult-child dynamic, deciding on who will address a concern is a non-issue. We are the adults. We are developmentally more capable of understanding ideas, interpreting nuances, regulating emotions, and applying changes. Ideally. Supposedly. Most of the time.
